Asking for Help is Okay
Sometimes people--adults and children alike--feel insecure, scared or like they won't be seen as strong, to ask for help.
But, in an ever-evolving world where it's become a good thing to acknowledge no one knows everything, asking for help has become safer, and dare I even say--sometimes seen as positive?
Kids should feel empowered to know that it's okay to ask for help. They need to be told this very simple statement, reinforcing that it's safe to ask questions. Not asking, or not knowing it is okay (or that they are allowed) to ask for help may lead to frustration. And while some need to hear directions more than once, others may not know what the directions mean.
Kids should feel safe asking questions or for help whether they are at home, out at a social gathering or in their classrooms. While many kids may find that asking for help is easy, there are many that do not. It’s important that we teach our kids that not only is it okay to ask for help, but also providing them with the tools for "how" they can ask for help.
Here’s how:
Give your child a real example. Make it relatable…to them! For example, they may need help opening a snack at school, some guidance on how to go about doing tasks when they are given more than one (such as which task they should do first), or perhaps what they are supposed to be doing when the teacher tells them to do a certain activity (but they are unsure of what exactly the teacher is asking), or simply how to do a homework problem or go about doing an assignment.
But Who? Sometimes kids don’t know how to ask for help let alone who they should be asking. It’s important that your child knows that they are allowed to ask for help from those around them, and the safety parameters, too.** Part of those safety parameters includes talking about who to ask for help when they are in a situation where they do not see a familiar face. Asking a teacher, a parent or turning to a peer is an option when at school. If your child is younger they may need to have a formal introduction to that person so they feel more comfortable approaching that person, without having any fear in doing so.
For some, this is the toughest part: the actual part where they ask the question. Have your child practice asking for help. Give them a real-life, relatable example of a time they could have asked for help. And then practice asking by sharing a couple of different ways they can ask someone for help. For example, they may approach their teacher to start the conversation by saying something like…
“How do I ________?”
“Could you please explain this part”
“What does this mean?”
“What are we supposed to be doing right now?”
“What should I do first. I have more than one thing to do”
By taking 5 minutes and explaining the simple act of asking for help, your child may experience less frustration and more success in their day to day life.
**This content in this post primarily focuses on asking for help within familiar environments and settings, such as the classroom. Having a conversation with your child about who to ask for help, in different situations and settings are advised.